| Year 2006 is coming to an end.. |
[Dec. 29th, 2006|06:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  satisfied | ] |
Hmms.. Yups.. Year 2006 is going to end pretty soon. In a few days' time.
Hmms.. What can I say?
This year has been a rather smooth year?
Maybe.
Not much excitements.
Little troubles along the way.
Hmms. Come to think of it.. I'm pretty amazed that this year has come and (going to) pass so smoothly.
I ACTUALLY STARTED THIS YEAR NICELY AND (GOING TO) END IT NICELY TOO.
Hehs.
Lets see.. What haf I done thru-out this whole year? Or rather, what memories do I have of it?
Hmms. Before I get started.. Don't say I didn't warn you. THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG :D
January --
`Orientation 2006 : I became an OGL; gotten out of my shell and turned into a whole new sociable me.Like what Gene n I wus toking the other day, being an ogl is definitely an unforgettable part of our JC life. Somehow, our jc life wldn't be whole, without the great experience :)
`1st mthsery : Yupyups. Its a part of my memories too :D Though it may seem no big deal to everyone else, but it does make a whole lot of difference to me. Wus veryveryveryvery happy on that day, I rmbed :) 'Cause it was an unexpected surprise, I guess? :) *smiles*
`Caught Ponning : Hehs. First time get caught lo. With most of the guys as well as latifah. Such a close shave. Maths lecture, I think.
February --
` Official Closure to Orientation 2006 : Went mad with all the dances *super high*
` Valentine's Day : First time spending vday with someone I love :) *happyhappy!!* Plus! I received lotsa vday gifts from ppl who love me too :D *feel so loved*
March --
` Stressful Common Test Period :S *uhh..*
` Stupid toothyache wus back again. 300 bucks down the drain. But at least I wldn't be short of a tooth. :D *see? pretty grin*
April --
` Busy kbox month, I think. It was a frequency of kboxing weekly. Oh my god! :P *bleahs*
May --
` MY BIRTHDAY MONTH! ;D *grins*
- Celebrated it with beloved PRF members. OHH!! I still remembered VERY clearly how I got BULLIED:/ Evil people *hmmphs*
- On the actual day went BIG WALK with minghong, esther and yvonne. Tiring but fun nehs. They bought a bigbig chocolate CREAM cake and made me eat more than a quarter of it. *bish* But it wus yummielicious though :) *happy day*
- Jer took time off to pei wo too :D
- Yupyups.. I definitely feel so blessed on my birthday :D
June --
` WORLD CUP SEASON!! :D yupyups. Got to watch with dear. Of course, I m happy lahs. :D
` Start of mid years *EWW!*
July --
` Found the theme song fer my relationship :) [beautiful love] Heex. Duno why. I just fell in love with the song the moment I heard it. Its just sooooo meaningful to me *smiles*
` Outing with Celest, Zest, Boon, Keatkee n Wquan after a long long time. Haha. Kbox plus nice neoprints:D *happy!*
August --
` Meet-the-Principal : Hehs.. Wus super worried for myself lahs. But then, it turned out to be a gd conversation with the principal. She's so nice to chat with lahs. *Phew..*
` Watched the beautiful fireworks with Flor. First time first time!! :) The fireworks was so GORGEOUS lahs. We were super high la! :D
` Found Click to be a meaningful movie :)
` Went back BP with Boon n Jingyi. Missed the old times.
` Cried alot this time, I realised. :'(
September --
` Prelims ending. STUPID PRELIMS! :/
` Beloved Boyfren was really sweet to me. By popping by even though it wus midnight to cheer me up. SEE?! I've got a great boyfren!! ^^ *smiles*
` Fell in love with Jay Chou's bai se feng che.
October --
` Started this month with lotsa tears. 'Cause I wasn't a gd gurlfren. :/
` Spent mid-autumn festival with Jer, and then with Flor, Gene, Helmi, Angmoh, Chenweixing and chengliyi. Happyhappy day for me! Played with sparklers ;D *loves*
November --
` Month of the dreadful As. -_________- *don't lyke!!* Can't rmb much about it anewaes.
` After As.. Got so busy with shopping. SHOPSHOPSHOP everyday. haha. OH! And preparations for gradnite.
` Gradnite 2006 - Nicenice! Took lotsa pretty photos. Went clubbing with Flor n Peipei. We shld really go hang out late again! :D
December --
` Chalet : Memorable. The heart-to-heart talks in the bedrooms. The preparations of meals. Addiction to mahjong. OH! BEESTING o.o *glares* stupid bee. Bedroom games. Rmb the fuzzywuzzy? Rmb 'what comes nxt'? Rmb gene's 'blue lorry' ? haha.. Its really great! :)
` Watched Saw3 with Jer. ( My wish fulfilled ) *happyhappy* Love my boyfren! :D
` Got sad over Tony's moving away. *sobs*
` Xmas service with Flor and hung out with PRF (w/o liyi) :)
` OH! ONE MAJOR EVENT! I WUS SO STUPID TO LOSE MY NECKLACE:'( Cried my heart out. *heartbrokened* It's Jer's first xmas gift to me...... *sighs* STUPID ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(
` CHRISTMAS! yupyups. I had the best christmas this year. know why? 'CAUSE I GOT TO SPEND IT WITH MY MOST BELOVED, AND THE GREATEST BOYFREN :D heex. Really. Nothing matters more than to spend it with my boyfren. OH! OUR 1ST YEAR ANNI TOO :D haha. I LOVE YOU DEAR :D
Urms. I think I have come to an end. Hees..
Anewaes. don't ask me why I didn't mention any unhappiness.
urms.. I can't rmb much of them actually. ;D
And I love being happy :)
Let me end this year with a happy note can? *prays hard*
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| Fifteen more days . . . |
[Oct. 18th, 2006|08:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  awake | ] |
Hmms. It's fifteen days away. The BIG As. haha. I am starting to feel the stress. haha. Who isn't? Hmms. Am trying to pia very hard. All these years of muggings are eventually fer this, isn't it? Else, everything wud go to waste. I wanna do well. I must do well. Then I can plan my future better. Hmms. Oh yarhs. I am gonna stop caring about those people whu give shits in my life. They don't worth my attention. And to the ONE whu doesn't think friendships matter, whu thinks that friendships are not worth ur PRECIOUS time.. GO BE A LONER! haha. I know I sound real evil and harsh. But I am really pissed off with the SHIT in my life. Okay, I am going off to mug. Promised Jer that I wud concentrate. Buhbye..=)
` feeling dejected from missing you.. |
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| Farewell Assembly |
[Oct. 13th, 2006|03:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Feeling much Better | ] |
Today's farewell assembly was nice. Hmms. While waiting for the assembly to start, I was tearing away lers. I wus tearing for the wrong reasons. Ha. Hmms. Was feeling super awful. Urgh. The feeling sucks lahs.
Hmms. The performances were great. Mr A sang a nice but emo-evoking song "my way". Mr Sas, Mr Dennis Yeo, Ms Lee, n a sci teacher did a dance performance. Nownow.. that's what I call dancing lahs. They were really great. Improvising humour into the dance. They rocked the school lahs. Hmms.. Mr Michael Kwok did a solo performance with a guitar n in his hot pants. haha. It wus nice though. hmms. Mr Tay, the vice principal, ROCKS lahs. He's so cute!!!!!! haha. Me n florence were screaming our heads off. haha.
Hmms. OH. We were showered with sweets. The councillors threw them at us. haha. AND! we were supposed to be getting balloons. HELIUM-FILLED. YET, sum stupid guy released the whole bunch. There goes my balloons. Urgh. So sad. Sang the college anthem fer the last time. though I wus already losing my voice. Hehs. Went back to klass to take results slip. haha. Took pics with Mr Chia, my beloved human geog teacher. He's leaving our school this year. SO SAD la. Hmms. I haven been a good student. But yups, I am going to do well in GEOG. Ace it, n do my geog teachers proud. AND oh, hafta really buck up on my econs, Get a decent grade. =D
Hmms. Farewell day isn't as great as I thought it wus going to be long time ago. haha. Hmms. All ended well with hanging out with great ppl: my greatgdtelepathicfren, FLORENCE, alwaysblurblurbutstilcutefren, LIYI, theguywhusavedmylife, TIM, theguywhutriedveryhardtocheermeup, EUGENE, thesuperlamemonotoneguy, CLEMENT.
` The quietest, lonelinest, lousy-est moments in your life, cld be the most extraordinary ones. haha. I am goin to sleep now. Am losing my voice. This sucks. I can't even relieve stress. Hmms. I am not crying lers. Running low on tears. haha. hmms. I promise to be happier frm today onwards. =) |
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| Unhappy but not sad. |
[Oct. 12th, 2006|01:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  just finished crying. | ] |
Hmms. Just reached home not long ago. Hais. Tired. Totally worn out. Hmms. These few days have been rather bad for me. I am unhappy for these few days as far as I can rmb. But I really gotta thank boon for his attempts to cheer me up by listening to me and say stupid things to make me laugh. He so stressed and depressed le, still have to worry about me. I really pity him somehow. haha. Hmms. But I really wish that he would not give up on himself yet. We have got twenty more days!!
Hmms. You noe what? I really hate it when studying becomes a form of competition. Obvious competition, I mean. I know you will say it's common to see competition between students., such as vying fer the places in uni. But it's very stupid to be competing how much you study. ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS! Like hello?!! urgh. It's really stupid lahs. I feel like smacking the people in the face already lahs. Cum on lahs. How old are you ler? To be doing such SMART stuffs, you must have the BEST of intelligence man. I am already very stressed as it is lers. Don't push things too far.. You'll never know what I might do when I do blow up.. This is no threat. It's just a warning.
Tml's the farewell assembly. Things aren't getting better. I am kinda feeling worse each day. What is the point of having superficial relationships? Can someone tell me WHAT IS THE POINT? I hate it when I have to pretend to be okay. Faking a smile isn't as easy as abc lahs. And sometimes, faking it makes me feel worse. Hate being nice. Hate trying to be nice and all. I AM NOT NICE. I AM NOT NICE. I DONT WANNA BE NICE. I AM NOT NICE. I AM NOT NICE. urgh. Why the hell am I having so many SHIT in jc? FRIENDS, FAMILY and all the other SHITs.
Sometimes, I do wonder, if all these happened because of my existence. Maybe they do. Maybe without me, there will be no segregation or so. Maybe things will all have a happy ending with me being there to spoil things fer everyone. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.. Or perhaps, I SHLD BE HATED. For being an evil being. haha.
Know something? I really miss primary school and secondary school lives. I never knew the undesirable outcome of segregation. I never encounter friendships problems. NEVER. I was so happy back then. Perhaps a few sad incidents relating other aspects of my life. But I still feel happy most of the time then. But now, with all these SHITs, how do you expect me to be happy? maybe the PROBLEM is MYSELF. haha.
Seriously, I dont know why I am blaming myself for. I doubt that I did sth wrong *maybe subconsciously, i did. I wouldn't know* I know I still have great friends to turn to. And I really am grateful to all of them. Thank you to gene, kboon, jhao, jhaokorkor, wquan. Thankyew guys fer your concern. And must thank my telepathic other half, FLORENCE. She's been there fer me and all. Yups. Thankyew all.
` I miss my boyfren! Jer.. I didn't forget about you. Not at all. It's just that I can't contact you. I'm sorry. I really wanna share all that had happened these few days with you. But, the situation doesn't permit. I am sorry. And really, I miss you alot. Hope that you'll come by this blog by chance. I don't know when I would be able to contact you. But, till then.. take care:) love you truly.
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| Graduating Soon . . . |
[Oct. 10th, 2006|08:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  melancholy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Unfaithful | ] |
Hmms.. It's been soooo fricking long since I last updated this. I know that I said that I will not be updating this anymore. But, it doesn't mean that I forever won't. Hehs. Okays. I sound very dumb this way. hmms. Farewell assembly's this coming friday. Which is like, two more days from now. Hmms. Such a short time, yet I am getting unhappy over stupid, minor stuffs. Hais. Can someone please slap me?
Hmms. I seriously don't know what is happening to me now. I can't understand myself anymore. Well, maybe I never did so. Ha. I don't know why I have such a strong dislike for this particular person. Who is supposedly a friend. Hmms. At times, I questioned myself if my disliking was due to my envy towards her. To a certain extent, I think so. She has got quite a perfect life, I must say. hmms. A good family background, nice features, great love life, etc. hmms. So good right? hmms. But I don't really envy people for all that. Maybe, I just dislike her attitude towards things and her personality bahs. Haha. Realised that I always use the clash between our horoscopes as an excuse. Ridiculous, I know. But, it's a possibility, right? Hehs. Wells, perhaps it's the accumulation of little things that turn me off, which results in me being like this. I don't really like disliking people. It's very tiring. And I've no time to do that. Can't be bothered anyway.
Hmms. Maybe what Mdm Khoo said, is right. Friends don't really matter at the point of time. Everyone's selfish about their preparations fer a levels. Why should I even waste time getting upset day in day out? And at the end of the day, while they happily rejoice over their good results, I'm going to stand by the side and my heart will cry in despair. Hah. Not going to let that happen. I'll mug hard. Prove to people that people with imperfections can make it in life. I will. I will make miracles happen for all to see. I will :) |
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| Here begins my June hols . . . |
[May. 30th, 2006|07:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | I am just tired.. | ] |
hmms. I am better lers. At least a little bahs. Todae, went sch fer maths tutorial which wus practically a waste of time. I just slacked fer the whole one hr plus lahs. Hmms. Todae wus supposed to haf the gurls ova at my place to watch movies de. But leen has got sth on n peipei isn't ard. Sobs. So end up, we cancelled the whole thing. And I suggested going to kbox. Haha. No one cld stop me. =DD We shldn't resist temptations, you know? haha. Had fun at kbox wif baba n flor. First time at kbox wif baba. haha. so hapi. She's so cute!! hmms. but i stil misses my peipei.. sobs..
hmms. oh wells. after which, flor came over to my plc. N i highlighted her hair fer her. haha. We fought over the hairdye color. I wanted sumthing reddish to suit my personality. alrights. alrights. I admit, I am a lian. haha. haha. hmms. Ended up, I bought sum demure brownish color. Oh my god lahs. I look weird now. But flor's hair turned out nice!! heex. So hapi.. =DD
hmms. Its June already. Mid years are cuming. Oh shucks. Shall start studying real soon. I reali nidda study! And I will. Shan't waste time brooding over useless stuffs. Come what may bahs. I am too tired lers...
`I haf got this feeling that my love will last forever... |
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| ='( |
[May. 28th, 2006|08:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
Sumhow, I feel lyke breaking down and crying right now. I don't know the reason for my overwhelming emotions. Perhaps, I am just merely tired. Tired of everything bahs. I'm sick again. Haven recovered fully n now I'm back to square one again. Seriously sick. I hate being sick when I'm all alone. I long fer sumone's attention n love. But I'd never get them. Not even frm my loved one. People are too busy fer me. Just as I am fer them sumtimes. But at least, I tried to be ther fer everyone whenever they need sumone, don't I? At least, I've bothered to giv sweet surprises. At least, I didn't keep bugging people fer attention. What I want, is merely attention, care n concern n love frm the bottom of ur hearts. thats all i asked fer.
Oh mans. I sound so pathetic. Wells. I really am bahs. hmms. Beta update sum lightheartening stuffs. College day turned out to be great. Better than expected. While the band wus performing, I wus quietly praying that the curtains wud close properly n not get stuck as it had during rehearsals. My prayers were answered. Phew. haha. Wus camwhoring wif von at the backstage. haha. hmms. Took lotsa pics wif sanjay. He looked so suave lahs. SAS's hot too! I can't believe I took a pic wif him mans. haha. =DD haha. Took lotsa pics wif other teachers too. =D so happy. haha. Went to cwp wif von to meet Jer. Den, went to get tix fer Davinci Code; I got checked fer a NC16 movie again!! argh. Den went to eat dinner. After which, we hung ard at Charles&Keith. Think Jer got pretty bored 'cause I took a long long time to choose my heels. haha. Heex. I bought a pair of great white heels!! So happy. =DD haha.. D movie wus great. Jer drove me home right after the movie 'cause it wus getting really late n he din wana get me into trouble wif my daddy.
hmms. nth much to update abt todae. just feeling superly unwell. =( And I need sum love badly =(
` I wonder if everything wud turn out to be a mirage... I am scared... ='( |
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| An update after a long long time |
[May. 23rd, 2006|08:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | I duno why | ] |
hellos. I am back here blogging. Really misses blogging in here. oh wells. I'm finally eighteen! haha. The legal age fer everything. But so what? haha. It doesn't mean I hafta go clubbing, get drunk n all. I still hafta get on with life as it is. Sucky life, that is. haha. My bdae wus great this year. At least, I wus happy =) Thanks to alot of great frens whu made it possible.
Hmms. Just now stayed in sch n had a long girls' talk with peiling, eileen n flor.. Its really great toking to them abt stuffs. Haha. Esp abt things which are really personal. haha. hmms. oh wells. Leen mentioned the taxi policy again. haha. yups. its happening to me again. But what am I going to do? Or rather, what can I do? hmms. I ain't shaken by anething. Not my love, not my faith, n esp not me! haha. Its just weird. I dun feel lyke hurting a good fren. Sumone whu is nice to me n all. Perhaps, I am just too soft-hearted. Or perhaps, I just lyke the attention I am getting, esp when I m feeling so unloved right now. I'm an awful attention-seeker. That's a horrible fact. =(
Sumtimes, I really wonder what the future has in place fer me. I'll nv noe until it cums. haha. My future is bleak, as flor puts it. haha. I duno whether I am goin to do well fer a lvls. I duno whether I am goin to stay alive. I duno how long he's going to love me. I duno.. N I am scared. hais. I'm emotionally drained. =( |
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| I need hugs. Badly. |
[Mar. 23rd, 2006|10:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | just feeling sad=( | ] |
Hmms. A gd old fren just emailed me this. Found that its rather true of what girls dream/want. Here goes,
1. Get kissed in the rain
2. Have that one hott kiss where your pressed against the wall
3. Have a guy that thinks you're the world
4. Have a guy that holds on as long as possible when giving hugs
5. A guy that whispers he loves you in your ear
6. Have that moment where you just gaze into eachother's eyes
7. When you cry, he kisses your tears away.
8. When you're not with your guy he's all that you can think about
9. Wearing his jacket and everytime you breath in, his scent surrounds you
10. A guy who will watch any movie with you, no matter how teary eyed you may get.
11. A guy who squeezes your hand
12. A guy that says he loves you and means it
13. A guy that will play her favorite song outside her window
14. A guy who is loyal
15. A guy that will sing to you no matter how bad he is at it.
16. A guy that will kiss you on the forehead.
17. A guy that will call you beautiful or adorable...not hot, fine, or sexy
18. A guy that will never judge you for how you look.
19. A guy that says cheezy stuff to you just to make u smile
20. A guy that is the same when he is with you and when with friends
21. A guy that tells you everything honestly
22. A guy that is good with your family and introduces you to his family
23. A guy that will always let you win
24. A guy who stands up for you no matter who it is against
25. A guy who calls you at night just to say 'hi' and see how your day has been
26. A guy who tells you that your smile makes his day and makes everything better
27. A guy who will sit on the phone with you when you're sad, even if you're quiet
28. A guy who you can hangout and have fun with
29. A guy that will just randonmly call you for no reason at all, just because he missed you
30. A guy who will hold your hand through the roughest parts of life.
31. A guy who would love you forever no matter the circumstance.
32. A guy who wouldn't mind you wanting to get all dressed up and do your make up for him. Even if he says he likes you better without make up.
33. A guy who you can be yourself with and he will never give a care and would still tell you that you are amazing to him.
34. A guy who runs his fingers through your hair, like he's washing your worries/troubles away.
35. A guy who tells you you make his day better, just for being you
Hmms. True rites? Any girl wil be willing to die fer a guy lyke that. haha. You'll never know who'll cum along. Perhaps, sumday soon, you'll meet sumone lidat too. =) Just be patient and wait.
Oh wells. Am having my last paper tml. WEE! haha. alrights this time, I am not so crazy abt celebrating lers lahs. Duno why. I am just not in the mood. Maybe, it's cuz I m not having aneone ther to celebrate wif bahs. Even my gd fren, von, mite be celebrating wif sumone else, I guess. Oh wells. I'll be hapi to see others hapi=) hmms. Just now, I came across this quote, " Many a time, people don't treasure the people/things that come easily available. Its only when they come close to losing it or haf lost it, then would they know the importance of it all. " Quite true, isn't it? I haf been ther as in, being the ppl whu din treasure others as well as being taken granted. *shrugs* Either way, its bad experience. Do cherish the ppl ard you before they are gone fer good.
Hmms. Getting abit melancholy here. haha. think i beta stop thinking so negatively. Shall go sleep lers. =) Oh yarhs. Nearly forgot.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIAJING!! *hugs*
` nessa : dun get too stressed up, gal. You know you'll always haf me here. Hugs frm me are complimentary. Free of GST. haha. Smiles!! =)
` at times when my world seems so dark, I just wish sumone wld cum along to giv me a hug to make me feel better. Hugs do make a difference. |
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| Can't get to sleep . . . |
[Mar. 22nd, 2006|10:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  okay | ] |
Hmms. Din study much today. Merely slacked at home. Got the urge to go out wif frens. Hmms. Can't get to slp now. Haha. Think I haf gotten used to sleeping late lers. Which is quite a gd thing. Preparation fer night jaunt. haha. Wells. I am nocturnal mahs. haha. But if I am really tired, that would be another story. Blehs.
Hmms. Just now, had a little glance at the telly when the news is on. Saw one sumwhat ridiculous news. Sum sec sch is distributing flyers to its neighbourhood to get the public's help in catching those problematic kids. Guess what's considered as problematic? haha. Smoking and drinking, I am okay with that listing. Even couples holding hands is listed! Whats the world cuming to mans? Haha. Ridiculous. Alrights. Shan't talk too much here. Lest, I get sued or sumthing. haha. *shrugs*
Hmms. though my common tests arent over yet. Me alrdy started planning fer June hols lers. Hmms. Mite haf chalets. Provided if I haf the cash. Haha. Gona be rather broke because of the May babies. haha. Hmms. Me n my hellmate haf decided to go clubbing at Ministry of Sound during June after geog trip. Wee! heex. I will be of age by then. wahaha. =D *evil luff*
Gona sign off here. Must mug.
` Love is lyke swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled down. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a very long time =) |
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| Two papers down.. Two freaky ones to go . . . |
[Mar. 21st, 2006|11:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | think I had too much caffeine | ] |
Sadly to say, I still got two more papers to go. Both of which I am not very confident of. How great uh? Hmms. Alrights. Today got my schedule for Humanities Club's activities. WEE!! Got night jaunt. Wahaha. But organising it is hard work. I m goin crazy liaos. Cuz I know nuts about Singapore's nightlife. *shrugs* Can't be asking the ppl to go clubbing bahs. Haha. If so, I think my hellmate will be the first one to sign up. haha. Oh wells. If anyone out ther has ane ideas, please help me out. I seriously need help. =(
I know I shld be slping now. But, duno why I feel kinda energetic tonight. Perhaps its cuz tml no paper n I m rather stressless right now bahs. Hmms. Oh yarh. Todae saw alot of ppl on my way home. One especially shocking. haha. As in weird lahs. I wus just boarding the bus den gt this guy came up to my side and said, "Hi". Wus abit cockeye, though he wus rather close. But still, cus I wus veri drowsy at that time mahs, I cldnt react fast enuff. Haha. Oni after sum lagtime, I realised its my secsch klasmate. He used to dao me alot. And the sudden friendliness just shocked me out of my wits. haha. oh wells. Had a rather gd chat wif him on the bus. haha. Long time nv haf such gd enjoyable chat lers. haha.
Oh wells. I guess I beta get going now. Feel lyke finishing up my novel. Anewae. I mite not be going fer the geog field trip. It depends lorhs. haha.
` the feeling of loneliness sucks terribly.. I miss euu.. |
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| Counting down to end of common tests . . . |
[Mar. 18th, 2006|07:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | i miss euu | ] |
In a rather lousy mood still. Hais. Think I am missing sumone far too much ler. Haish. Major Distraction sia. Oh wells. Instead of counting down to common tests which are just less than two daes away, I haf decided to count down to end of common tests. Haha. Its in my nature to do such things de lahs. Not surprising at all. I am alrdy planning fer post-commontests activities lerx. Typical xin. Haha.
And so.. here are a list of what I planned to do and hafta do..
` kbox-ing
` spend time wif dear
` shopping
` swimming *but before tt, i nidda lose all my fats first =P*
` beach * i simply miss going to beaches..argh..*
` movie marathons
` iceskating!!
` cycling
` meet up wif ster, mhong
` meet up wif ebo *sry sia.. kip delaying.. but will meet u before u go fer ns de!!*
Hmm.. Think there is still more to that list. But I can't think of anemore fer now. Haha. Hopefully I haf time fer all those. Alrights. I know I am not behaving lyke a typical J2 student whu is supposed to be preparing fer the BIG As which is lyke less than eight mths away? haha. Talking abt the A lvls, I just rmbed what Mr Yeo mentioned the other dae.. " six mths of abstinence will give you six mths of nothing." Facing the reality, its rather true that we are left with half a yr. Haha. This reminded me of the fact that we all had been "cheated". JC life is not two yrs. Its oni a yr lorhs. Alrights. Back to what Mr Yeo said, six mths of abstinence from all temptations and distractions, at the end of a lvls, we will be free. And we're not only talking about freedom lorhs. We will be so damn free after a lvls that we mite even start missing sch. haha. thats what he said lahs. Duno whether it will apply to me. hmms.
Hmm.. Shall end with this nicenice quote that I really love..
"It's not who you are to the world, it's who you are to me.
It's not how many times I say ' I love you ', it's how much I really do." |
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| =( |
[Mar. 17th, 2006|07:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] |
Shucks. I am feeling real awful right now. Hmm. As in, just feeling real sad bahx..
XIN HATES LONELINESS!!
Argh. I really hate feeling lonely. argh. The worst feeling of all!! haish. *shrugs*
` i miss euu real bad! Where're you?!! |
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| hapi hapi day . . . |
[Mar. 16th, 2006|08:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  xin's hapi day !! | ] |
I would lyke to announce that 16th March 2006 is one hapi hapi day fer Xin!! haha. Xin's hapihapi day!! haha.
Hmm. I know I shld be studying right now. But, I just can't resist the urge to blog!! haha. Cuz I am hapi todae! haha. Funny eh. I wus feeling darn tired during the noon. Wells, I am feeling sleepy stil. But most impt of all, I am HAPPY!! haha. Hmm. Went sch early in the morn. Erm.. not reali early lah.. But I had oni five hrs of slp lah. haha. Am on my way to become a super mugger!! Heex. Studied wif flor n peipei. Erm.. they were the ones studying. I wus basically stoning. I m nocturnal, rmb? haha. Me wus basically waiting fer time to pass quickly. haha.
Went watch "Yours, mine and Ours". It wus a great movie lah!! If you are looking fer comedy, romance, n lotsa adorable kids, you shld really go fer this movie. It rawks!! One of the best movies I haf ever watched. The kids are simply so adorable!! aww.. your heart will feel lyke melting upon seeing them. They reali cute!! haha. No cute hunks unfortunately. But one nt-so-bad-looking guy. Quite cute la. Haha. This movie comes strongly reccommended by ME * xin the great!! * heex.
One thing, I m veri puzzled about wus how quiet the cinema wus. Haha. Alright, the cinema wus rather empty. But there were humans ard lah. But then, there wus oni me, flor n peipei luffing lorhx. Seriously, ppl!! Suppressing your laughters is not good. You'll get internal bleeding de. haha. Hmm. I am evil, I know. haha. Heex.
hmm.. I wana re-watch this movie. Aneone?? haha. Gona start studying le. But before tt, I think I need a good nap. =D |
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| o.O |
[Mar. 15th, 2006|10:01 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  aiming to be a mugger !! | ] |
hmm. Just started revising for my first paper nxt week. Economics Paper 3. Woohoo. How exciting! Blehx. Haha. Okays, I know I sound super sarcastic. Blehx. Haha. Canot concentrate very well. Hmm. Had been blasting music in my ears and I had only completed one topic. Jialat. Haha.
Realised that my passion for economics din manage to last lehx. I know sum frens reading this, wil be thinking, "now, what's new?" Heex. Alrights. I know this is not the first incident liao. Blehx. I stil rmbed my guitar lessons, keyboard lessons. Yada yada. All the courses. Haha. Why the hell am I doing in arts?!! haha. This qn keeps on popping in my head whenever I start, or rather try to study. Hehehx. *shrugs* Wells. hmm. How to put it? I am just not a routine person. I dislike things becoming a kind of routine for me. I am the kind of person who dislike routined lifestyles. That actually explains why I hate schlife so much. It is too routined le!! I get bored real easily. Haha. Another excuse for my slackish-ness. Hehe. Perhaps.. perhaps.. there will come this day when I might be changed. Haha. Perhaps, sumday, I might come to love routines. Who knows? haha.
Hmm. I am not so cranky liao. Kinda ok le. Hmm. Today kinda happy. heex. Thanks dear fer making a surprise trip to find me. It's quite a pleasant surprise. Thanks fer taking time off your busy schedule for me. =) i love you.
Alrights. Gona start mugging now. Haha.
` i miss eu.. |
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| sumwher deep dwn, I really really wished that . . . |
[Mar. 14th, 2006|10:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | hais . . . | ] |
This is a rather random post. Can't seem to get to slp. Hmm. You cld sae sth's bothering me. Emm. But actually, it isn't exactly so. Just that a series of thoughts that I can't seem to sort out. Sum things that I can't seem to figure out. And fer sum reasons, my tots are rather contradictory. *shrugs* Feeling rather confused right now. But everyone seems so busy wif their life, I rather not bother aneone wif my rather stupid 'trouble'. Hah.
Wus counselling sumone few daes back. And that sumone suddenly shot me wif a qn that got me dumbfounded fer the first time. Fer the first time, I wus at a loss fer words. Imagine you being asked this out of the blue, "Do you really understand yourself?" What'll be your answer? Hah. Guess most ppl will answer 'Yes' pretty forcefully. Same fer me too. But the ultimate question wld be "How much do you understand yourself?" Hmm. I can't say fer sure that I understand myself fully. I am still in the "process" of doing so. Hah. *shrugs* And so, fer this same reason, we can't blame others fer nt understanding us enough. Cuz even us, ourselves are unable to do so.
Once had a rather heated argument wif a gd fren. It wus kinda "cuz we had nth beta to do" type of argument. Haha. Oh wells. He wus complaining that "women are unreasonably unpredictable" . At that time, of course I had to argue fer my own gender la. But come to think of it, that statement isn't completely wrong. Women are unpredictable but not unreasonably unpredictable. That's what I feel lah. Women are unpredictable in the sense that they are extremely hard to understand. So hard that we often hear complaints and grunts from the opposite gender. But guys, don't blame the ladies, kays? Sumtimes, this unpredictability can be explained by "mood swings" . But then again, sum guys that I know, also haf rather bad mood swings. Haha. And so, me and one other gd fren jokingly concluded that perhaps, it's the female hormones. Yada yada. Anewae, hard to understand doesn't mean you can't try. Similar issue, another fren of mine mentioned tat "women have their way of complicating things" . Haha. I almost died of laughing uncontrollably when I heard the way my fren said it. Well, I can't deny that I do agree with that statement to sum teeny weeny extent. Rmbed that in sum lect, the lecturer said that women handle things wif emotions while men handle things wif logic. True enough, but then again, women dun usually complicate things la. That statement is rather discriminating. Haha. Oh wells, these character traits are what distinguish women from men bah.
Opps. I just realised that I had just went seriously out of point. Haha. So paiseh. Just suddenly tot of it. Hah. Hmm. Back to my understanding of myself. Haha. Hmm. Let me think uh. I am a rather weird person, emm not in the eccentric way, but in a special way. hah. I tend to do things veri differently from others. Rather emotional. Heheh. Or rather, most ppl wld sae I am veri emotional and sensitive. Hah. *shrugs* I think I quite agree wif that. haha. Ever seen ppl read novels and crying thruout? haha. And I tot I wus numbed to all these emotions ler. But then again, sumtimes, I also don't really understand why at certain points of time, sum tots just popped into my head, making me feel insecure n all. And worst of all, I can't seem to get rid of that awful feeling of insecurity. In the past, I used to think that ppl wld change fer me if I asked them to, cuz of love. But then, most of my relationships haf proven that wrong. Or rather, they din love me enough? hah. Then sumone reminded me of what I used to preach to her, "think again, if they change oni cuz you asked them to, wld you be hapi? And becuz of the change, the person mite not be the same person as you know him/her to be anemore." Profound eh? haha. And so, I stopped asking ppl to change, stopped interfering in their lives. Not that I dun care, but I must practise what I preached. Hah. But really, deep dwn, I just dun feel good. But I dun haf a choice, do I? *shrugs* And do ppl really care?
Hmm. I'm not making ane sense of what I am typing right now. Perhaps, I'm just feeling cranky again. Hais. And so off I go to bed now. |
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| Disappointment after disappointment . . . |
[Mar. 10th, 2006|07:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | i m reali tired. | ] |
Hmm.. My eyes are much better than before le. Been having alot of sleep. Haha. Oh wells. This week had GP n Maths common tests. And ther goes my one A lvl pass. My oni Hope. argh. Whatever la! Can't b bothered anewae nw. Hmm. Right nw, I just wished tt my eyes will b back to normal soon. I am nt being overly vain lah, but its just tt its reali horrifying lorhx. Hais. Reali hope you'll understand.
Todae gt PJC road run. Haha. I din go. Hopefully, darwinians will do the hse proud! haha. hmm. Oh ya. Nw, they're having orientation finale in sch. argh. Hw I wished I cld b ther la! I miss all the ogls n councillors. Miss the fun n craps that we haf. hais. Reali sad..
`HCLUB RESTORED!!
`i miss euu..=( |
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| Sick and Dying ='( |
[Mar. 6th, 2006|06:27 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  *sobs* | ] |
Hmm. Been home fer one whole dae. Din reali haf energy to do anething until nw. Still feeling kinda weak though. hais. hmm.. Duno wat the hell is wrong wif me lorhx. Fer the first time in my life, I felt so enthu abt attending sch *emm.. `cause exams are nearing* , yet I hafta fall sick. argh.
But actuali horx. Looking on the bright side of things, lyke I always do, hmm, being sick isnt all that bad except fer the awful giddy spells, fatigue n headache. One gd thing abt being sick is tt I can lose weight. Haha. I'm losing my appetite fer food. Blehx. Wee!! Alrights. I feel lyke a sadist nw. haha. Must be sumone's bad influence. Haha. Duno if I can make it back to sch tml or nt. Jialat! Common tests start this week lo. Shucks! *prays hard*
hmm. Gona end off here. Veri drowsy. Funny uh. I din take ane medication lo. Weird. =(
`prays to get well soon..
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| Release of A lvls results. |
[Mar. 1st, 2006|07:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | You and Me | ] |
Me back to update on my life le. Hmm. Today is the release of the A lvls results. Sounds exciting to me at first. But when we were in the hall, awaiting the fates of the ex-J2s, it actually gets pretty scary n stressful. Hmm. Wus pretty blur when the teachers flashed the ppt slides of the results. Hmm. Stared at the slides fer a long long time before I realised tt gt a handful of ppl whu flunk GP. shucks. Thats lyke reali bad lah. Imagine me being one of them nxt yr. Gosh. Hmm. There is a rather significant trend tt those who topped the sch are science students. Hais. Perhaps, its reali tough to score in arts subjs bahx. My ogl, Sam, is the sch's top arts student!! haha. so hapi fer him. Saw alot of familiar faces cuming back. Saw Shawn n Guohao n Samuel, all out frm NS, built n all. Kinda cant get used to it. Haha. Jenn Yang did well too n bcame more tanned. so cool la. hmm.. Peixi became more gorgeous. Heex.. Miss her so much lorhx.
hmm. Me feeling kinda stressed nw. Cuz sum of my seniors who r a bunch of smart n hardwrking ppl, din reali do well. Hais. Whats goin to happen to me sia?!! Nine more mths to a lvls le. Sheesh. Thats lyke goin to be real soon. Esp when the holidaes cum n goes just lidat. Jialat sia. Though I kip telling myself tt I hafta start studying le, but I haf gt this feeling tt I mite just continue to waste my holidaes awae as usual. Shucks. WHER R MY STUDYMATES?!! =/
Oh yarh. Todae, us, Year 2 students oso got back our mother tongue results. hmm. Wus the third one to receive my result frm my ex-civic tutor, Ms Lee. My heart nearly stopped beating when I approached her. When I finished signing beside my name as proof tt I haf received my result slip, I looked up n saw Ms Lee smiling at me, n she congratulated me while handing me the result slip. hmm. I've gt an A2. First thing I felt wus great disappointment. haish. First ting that came to mind wus to inform Jer. hais. How I wish he were ard to lend me his shoulders to cry on. haish. Felt so disappointed that I wus tearing awae in klaz. N when I saw susu cry becuz Cassie wus leaving PJ, I felt lyke crying even more. But I juz had to hold back my tears. Hmm. most of my klazmates did well. Well done, A07! We're finally freed frm our torturous mother tongue lessons!! *three cheers* Hmm. A fren msged me in sch n said sumthing tt made me luff, "Why the hell are u looking as though u flunk ur chinese?!" haha. alright. I'm just seriously disappointed, tts all. But I m ok now. =)
There's a freaking ECONS ESSAY TEST tml. And I haf yet to study fer it. Gona go start studying le. Buais.
`i miss u. *u beta study hard fer ur exams horx.*
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|
| `sick |
[Feb. 20th, 2006|10:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
Xin is really sick. Real sick n lovesick too. argh. Dun lyke being sick sia. Hate feeling lethargic fer the whole dae. I wana hyper oso canot. Sian-ned. Basically, slpt thru all my lessons todae. Heh. alright. I passed my maths test! Wee! So hapi.. I din expect to pass cuz I din study at all. But heng arh.. else.. tt toopid cher will pick on me again. o.O"
Had 2.4km run fer PE. I insisted on running though I wusnt feeling well at all. Wus half dead even before the run lah. Nt to mention tt I wus nearly dead after the run. Guess my face color wus freaking nt right, tt boon wus shocked to see me. haha. he gt that 'shock-ed' look *shock-ed, pronounced in xin's language: shoc-ke-d* heex. Wus feeling even worse after the run. My pe teacher stil insisted tt I completed 24inclined pullups. o.O"
Hais. realised tt I haf been too busy wif my own life tt I haf neglected sum of my frens. Fer this, I sincerely apologise. I'm really sorry. Its oni when I read their blogs, den I actuali know wats goin on. hais. n fer sum, I dun even noe why things turn out this wae. hais. I sincerely dun wish anething of this sort to persist. I am truly nt one whu will treat frenships so lightly. I juz wish fer abit understanding on your part. I juz wana sae, I truly treasure all my frenships. sumtimes, life gets so tiring tt everyone starts goin cranky, but, I dun this to affect ane of my frenships. Please. If ther is anething you're unhapi abt me, juz tell me straight in the face. Perhaps, this wld b better than keeping mum n let me guess wads goin on in ur head. I am tired of all those guessings, tired of having to keep smiling when I m feeling veri bad deep dwn. I am really tired. But, seriously, I dun wan to lose ane of my frens. everyone is impt to me. =)
alright. such an weird paragraph tt I haf above. I dun quite noe wat I am typing. haha. Realised tt I'm missing quite a number of my close frens. Whom I haf nt met up wif fer ages : celest, matt, wyang, wquan, jiayong, mhong, minglin, steven, shaofen, yawen, grace, tony, jeff. Hey ppl, I din forget abt you all. Lets find time after our a lvls n meet up kays? Mite b organising a chalet or a bbq fer our sec four klaz. =) hope all of you all are doing fine. =)
Ending here fer nw. veri worn out le. N I m missing my Jer so much. hais. If oni you're ard . . . =/
`missing u so badly . . . |
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