| Year 2006 is coming to an end.. |
[Dec. 29th, 2006|06:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  satisfied | ] |
Hmms.. Yups.. Year 2006 is going to end pretty soon. In a few days' time.
Hmms.. What can I say?
This year has been a rather smooth year?
Maybe.
Not much excitements.
Little troubles along the way.
Hmms. Come to think of it.. I'm pretty amazed that this year has come and (going to) pass so smoothly.
I ACTUALLY STARTED THIS YEAR NICELY AND (GOING TO) END IT NICELY TOO.
Hehs.
Lets see.. What haf I done thru-out this whole year? Or rather, what memories do I have of it?
Hmms. Before I get started.. Don't say I didn't warn you. THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG :D
January --
`Orientation 2006 : I became an OGL; gotten out of my shell and turned into a whole new sociable me.Like what Gene n I wus toking the other day, being an ogl is definitely an unforgettable part of our JC life. Somehow, our jc life wldn't be whole, without the great experience :)
`1st mthsery : Yupyups. Its a part of my memories too :D Though it may seem no big deal to everyone else, but it does make a whole lot of difference to me. Wus veryveryveryvery happy on that day, I rmbed :) 'Cause it was an unexpected surprise, I guess? :) *smiles*
`Caught Ponning : Hehs. First time get caught lo. With most of the guys as well as latifah. Such a close shave. Maths lecture, I think.
February --
` Official Closure to Orientation 2006 : Went mad with all the dances *super high*
` Valentine's Day : First time spending vday with someone I love :) *happyhappy!!* Plus! I received lotsa vday gifts from ppl who love me too :D *feel so loved*
March --
` Stressful Common Test Period :S *uhh..*
` Stupid toothyache wus back again. 300 bucks down the drain. But at least I wldn't be short of a tooth. :D *see? pretty grin*
April --
` Busy kbox month, I think. It was a frequency of kboxing weekly. Oh my god! :P *bleahs*
May --
` MY BIRTHDAY MONTH! ;D *grins*
- Celebrated it with beloved PRF members. OHH!! I still remembered VERY clearly how I got BULLIED:/ Evil people *hmmphs*
- On the actual day went BIG WALK with minghong, esther and yvonne. Tiring but fun nehs. They bought a bigbig chocolate CREAM cake and made me eat more than a quarter of it. *bish* But it wus yummielicious though :) *happy day*
- Jer took time off to pei wo too :D
- Yupyups.. I definitely feel so blessed on my birthday :D
June --
` WORLD CUP SEASON!! :D yupyups. Got to watch with dear. Of course, I m happy lahs. :D
` Start of mid years *EWW!*
July --
` Found the theme song fer my relationship :) [beautiful love] Heex. Duno why. I just fell in love with the song the moment I heard it. Its just sooooo meaningful to me *smiles*
` Outing with Celest, Zest, Boon, Keatkee n Wquan after a long long time. Haha. Kbox plus nice neoprints:D *happy!*
August --
` Meet-the-Principal : Hehs.. Wus super worried for myself lahs. But then, it turned out to be a gd conversation with the principal. She's so nice to chat with lahs. *Phew..*
` Watched the beautiful fireworks with Flor. First time first time!! :) The fireworks was so GORGEOUS lahs. We were super high la! :D
` Found Click to be a meaningful movie :)
` Went back BP with Boon n Jingyi. Missed the old times.
` Cried alot this time, I realised. :'(
September --
` Prelims ending. STUPID PRELIMS! :/
` Beloved Boyfren was really sweet to me. By popping by even though it wus midnight to cheer me up. SEE?! I've got a great boyfren!! ^^ *smiles*
` Fell in love with Jay Chou's bai se feng che.
October --
` Started this month with lotsa tears. 'Cause I wasn't a gd gurlfren. :/
` Spent mid-autumn festival with Jer, and then with Flor, Gene, Helmi, Angmoh, Chenweixing and chengliyi. Happyhappy day for me! Played with sparklers ;D *loves*
November --
` Month of the dreadful As. -_________- *don't lyke!!* Can't rmb much about it anewaes.
` After As.. Got so busy with shopping. SHOPSHOPSHOP everyday. haha. OH! And preparations for gradnite.
` Gradnite 2006 - Nicenice! Took lotsa pretty photos. Went clubbing with Flor n Peipei. We shld really go hang out late again! :D
December --
` Chalet : Memorable. The heart-to-heart talks in the bedrooms. The preparations of meals. Addiction to mahjong. OH! BEESTING o.o *glares* stupid bee. Bedroom games. Rmb the fuzzywuzzy? Rmb 'what comes nxt'? Rmb gene's 'blue lorry' ? haha.. Its really great! :)
` Watched Saw3 with Jer. ( My wish fulfilled ) *happyhappy* Love my boyfren! :D
` Got sad over Tony's moving away. *sobs*
` Xmas service with Flor and hung out with PRF (w/o liyi) :)
` OH! ONE MAJOR EVENT! I WUS SO STUPID TO LOSE MY NECKLACE:'( Cried my heart out. *heartbrokened* It's Jer's first xmas gift to me...... *sighs* STUPID ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(
` CHRISTMAS! yupyups. I had the best christmas this year. know why? 'CAUSE I GOT TO SPEND IT WITH MY MOST BELOVED, AND THE GREATEST BOYFREN :D heex. Really. Nothing matters more than to spend it with my boyfren. OH! OUR 1ST YEAR ANNI TOO :D haha. I LOVE YOU DEAR :D
Urms. I think I have come to an end. Hees..
Anewaes. don't ask me why I didn't mention any unhappiness.
urms.. I can't rmb much of them actually. ;D
And I love being happy :)
Let me end this year with a happy note can? *prays hard*
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| Fifteen more days . . . |
[Oct. 18th, 2006|08:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  awake | ] |
Hmms. It's fifteen days away. The BIG As. haha. I am starting to feel the stress. haha. Who isn't? Hmms. Am trying to pia very hard. All these years of muggings are eventually fer this, isn't it? Else, everything wud go to waste. I wanna do well. I must do well. Then I can plan my future better. Hmms. Oh yarhs. I am gonna stop caring about those people whu give shits in my life. They don't worth my attention. And to the ONE whu doesn't think friendships matter, whu thinks that friendships are not worth ur PRECIOUS time.. GO BE A LONER! haha. I know I sound real evil and harsh. But I am really pissed off with the SHIT in my life. Okay, I am going off to mug. Promised Jer that I wud concentrate. Buhbye..=)
` feeling dejected from missing you.. |
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| Farewell Assembly |
[Oct. 13th, 2006|03:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Feeling much Better | ] |
Today's farewell assembly was nice. Hmms. While waiting for the assembly to start, I was tearing away lers. I wus tearing for the wrong reasons. Ha. Hmms. Was feeling super awful. Urgh. The feeling sucks lahs.
Hmms. The performances were great. Mr A sang a nice but emo-evoking song "my way". Mr Sas, Mr Dennis Yeo, Ms Lee, n a sci teacher did a dance performance. Nownow.. that's what I call dancing lahs. They were really great. Improvising humour into the dance. They rocked the school lahs. Hmms.. Mr Michael Kwok did a solo performance with a guitar n in his hot pants. haha. It wus nice though. hmms. Mr Tay, the vice principal, ROCKS lahs. He's so cute!!!!!! haha. Me n florence were screaming our heads off. haha.
Hmms. OH. We were showered with sweets. The councillors threw them at us. haha. AND! we were supposed to be getting balloons. HELIUM-FILLED. YET, sum stupid guy released the whole bunch. There goes my balloons. Urgh. So sad. Sang the college anthem fer the last time. though I wus already losing my voice. Hehs. Went back to klass to take results slip. haha. Took pics with Mr Chia, my beloved human geog teacher. He's leaving our school this year. SO SAD la. Hmms. I haven been a good student. But yups, I am going to do well in GEOG. Ace it, n do my geog teachers proud. AND oh, hafta really buck up on my econs, Get a decent grade. =D
Hmms. Farewell day isn't as great as I thought it wus going to be long time ago. haha. Hmms. All ended well with hanging out with great ppl: my greatgdtelepathicfren, FLORENCE, alwaysblurblurbutstilcutefren, LIYI, theguywhusavedmylife, TIM, theguywhutriedveryhardtocheermeup, EUGENE, thesuperlamemonotoneguy, CLEMENT.
` The quietest, lonelinest, lousy-est moments in your life, cld be the most extraordinary ones. haha. I am goin to sleep now. Am losing my voice. This sucks. I can't even relieve stress. Hmms. I am not crying lers. Running low on tears. haha. hmms. I promise to be happier frm today onwards. =) |
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| Unhappy but not sad. |
[Oct. 12th, 2006|01:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  just finished crying. | ] |
Hmms. Just reached home not long ago. Hais. Tired. Totally worn out. Hmms. These few days have been rather bad for me. I am unhappy for these few days as far as I can rmb. But I really gotta thank boon for his attempts to cheer me up by listening to me and say stupid things to make me laugh. He so stressed and depressed le, still have to worry about me. I really pity him somehow. haha. Hmms. But I really wish that he would not give up on himself yet. We have got twenty more days!!
Hmms. You noe what? I really hate it when studying becomes a form of competition. Obvious competition, I mean. I know you will say it's common to see competition between students., such as vying fer the places in uni. But it's very stupid to be competing how much you study. ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS! Like hello?!! urgh. It's really stupid lahs. I feel like smacking the people in the face already lahs. Cum on lahs. How old are you ler? To be doing such SMART stuffs, you must have the BEST of intelligence man. I am already very stressed as it is lers. Don't push things too far.. You'll never know what I might do when I do blow up.. This is no threat. It's just a warning.
Tml's the farewell assembly. Things aren't getting better. I am kinda feeling worse each day. What is the point of having superficial relationships? Can someone tell me WHAT IS THE POINT? I hate it when I have to pretend to be okay. Faking a smile isn't as easy as abc lahs. And sometimes, faking it makes me feel worse. Hate being nice. Hate trying to be nice and all. I AM NOT NICE. I AM NOT NICE. I DONT WANNA BE NICE. I AM NOT NICE. I AM NOT NICE. urgh. Why the hell am I having so many SHIT in jc? FRIENDS, FAMILY and all the other SHITs.
Sometimes, I do wonder, if all these happened because of my existence. Maybe they do. Maybe without me, there will be no segregation or so. Maybe things will all have a happy ending with me being there to spoil things fer everyone. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.. Or perhaps, I SHLD BE HATED. For being an evil being. haha.
Know something? I really miss primary school and secondary school lives. I never knew the undesirable outcome of segregation. I never encounter friendships problems. NEVER. I was so happy back then. Perhaps a few sad incidents relating other aspects of my life. But I still feel happy most of the time then. But now, with all these SHITs, how do you expect me to be happy? maybe the PROBLEM is MYSELF. haha.
Seriously, I dont know why I am blaming myself for. I doubt that I did sth wrong *maybe subconsciously, i did. I wouldn't know* I know I still have great friends to turn to. And I really am grateful to all of them. Thank you to gene, kboon, jhao, jhaokorkor, wquan. Thankyew guys fer your concern. And must thank my telepathic other half, FLORENCE. She's been there fer me and all. Yups. Thankyew all.
` I miss my boyfren! Jer.. I didn't forget about you. Not at all. It's just that I can't contact you. I'm sorry. I really wanna share all that had happened these few days with you. But, the situation doesn't permit. I am sorry. And really, I miss you alot. Hope that you'll come by this blog by chance. I don't know when I would be able to contact you. But, till then.. take care:) love you truly.
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| Graduating Soon . . . |
[Oct. 10th, 2006|08:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  melancholy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Unfaithful | ] |
Hmms.. It's been soooo fricking long since I last updated this. I know that I said that I will not be updating this anymore. But, it doesn't mean that I forever won't. Hehs. Okays. I sound very dumb this way. hmms. Farewell assembly's this coming friday. Which is like, two more days from now. Hmms. Such a short time, yet I am getting unhappy over stupid, minor stuffs. Hais. Can someone please slap me?
Hmms. I seriously don't know what is happening to me now. I can't understand myself anymore. Well, maybe I never did so. Ha. I don't know why I have such a strong dislike for this particular person. Who is supposedly a friend. Hmms. At times, I questioned myself if my disliking was due to my envy towards her. To a certain extent, I think so. She has got quite a perfect life, I must say. hmms. A good family background, nice features, great love life, etc. hmms. So good right? hmms. But I don't really envy people for all that. Maybe, I just dislike her attitude towards things and her personality bahs. Haha. Realised that I always use the clash between our horoscopes as an excuse. Ridiculous, I know. But, it's a possibility, right? Hehs. Wells, perhaps it's the accumulation of little things that turn me off, which results in me being like this. I don't really like disliking people. It's very tiring. And I've no time to do that. Can't be bothered anyway.
Hmms. Maybe what Mdm Khoo said, is right. Friends don't really matter at the point of time. Everyone's selfish about their preparations fer a levels. Why should I even waste time getting upset day in day out? And at the end of the day, while they happily rejoice over their good results, I'm going to stand by the side and my heart will cry in despair. Hah. Not going to let that happen. I'll mug hard. Prove to people that people with imperfections can make it in life. I will. I will make miracles happen for all to see. I will :) |
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| Here begins my June hols . . . |
[May. 30th, 2006|07:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | I am just tired.. | ] |
hmms. I am better lers. At least a little bahs. Todae, went sch fer maths tutorial which wus practically a waste of time. I just slacked fer the whole one hr plus lahs. Hmms. Todae wus supposed to haf the gurls ova at my place to watch movies de. But leen has got sth on n peipei isn't ard. Sobs. So end up, we cancelled the whole thing. And I suggested going to kbox. Haha. No one cld stop me. =DD We shldn't resist temptations, you know? haha. Had fun at kbox wif baba n flor. First time at kbox wif baba. haha. so hapi. She's so cute!! hmms. but i stil misses my peipei.. sobs..
hmms. oh wells. after which, flor came over to my plc. N i highlighted her hair fer her. haha. We fought over the hairdye color. I wanted sumthing reddish to suit my personality. alrights. alrights. I admit, I am a lian. haha. haha. hmms. Ended up, I bought sum demure brownish color. Oh my god lahs. I look weird now. But flor's hair turned out nice!! heex. So hapi.. =DD
hmms. Its June already. Mid years are cuming. Oh shucks. Shall start studying real soon. I reali nidda study! And I will. Shan't waste time brooding over useless stuffs. Come what may bahs. I am too tired lers...
`I haf got this feeling that my love will last forever... |
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| ='( |
[May. 28th, 2006|08:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
Sumhow, I feel lyke breaking down and crying right now. I don't know the reason for my overwhelming emotions. Perhaps, I am just merely tired. Tired of everything bahs. I'm sick again. Haven recovered fully n now I'm back to square one again. Seriously sick. I hate being sick when I'm all alone. I long fer sumone's attention n love. But I'd never get them. Not even frm my loved one. People are too busy fer me. Just as I am fer them sumtimes. But at least, I tried to be ther fer everyone whenever they need sumone, don't I? At least, I've bothered to giv sweet surprises. At least, I didn't keep bugging people fer attention. What I want, is merely attention, care n concern n love frm the bottom of ur hearts. thats all i asked fer.
Oh mans. I sound so pathetic. Wells. I really am bahs. hmms. Beta update sum lightheartening stuffs. College day turned out to be great. Better than expected. While the band wus performing, I wus quietly praying that the curtains wud close properly n not get stuck as it had during rehearsals. My prayers were answered. Phew. haha. Wus camwhoring wif von at the backstage. haha. hmms. Took lotsa pics wif sanjay. He looked so suave lahs. SAS's hot too! I can't believe I took a pic wif him mans. haha. =DD haha. Took lotsa pics wif other teachers too. =D so happy. haha. Went to cwp wif von to meet Jer. Den, went to get tix fer Davinci Code; I got checked fer a NC16 movie again!! argh. Den went to eat dinner. After which, we hung ard at Charles&Keith. Think Jer got pretty bored 'cause I took a long long time to choose my heels. haha. Heex. I bought a pair of great white heels!! So happy. =DD haha.. D movie wus great. Jer drove me home right after the movie 'cause it wus getting really late n he din wana get me into trouble wif my daddy.
hmms. nth much to update abt todae. just feeling superly unwell. =( And I need sum love badly =(
` I wonder if everything wud turn out to be a mirage... I am scared... ='( |
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| An update after a long long time |
[May. 23rd, 2006|08:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | I duno why | ] |
hellos. I am back here blogging. Really misses blogging in here. oh wells. I'm finally eighteen! haha. The legal age fer everything. But so what? haha. It doesn't mean I hafta go clubbing, get drunk n all. I still hafta get on with life as it is. Sucky life, that is. haha. My bdae wus great this year. At least, I wus happy =) Thanks to alot of great frens whu made it possible.
Hmms. Just now stayed in sch n had a long girls' talk with peiling, eileen n flor.. Its really great toking to them abt stuffs. Haha. Esp abt things which are really personal. haha. hmms. oh wells. Leen mentioned the taxi policy again. haha. yups. its happening to me again. But what am I going to do? Or rather, what can I do? hmms. I ain't shaken by anething. Not my love, not my faith, n esp not me! haha. Its just weird. I dun feel lyke hurting a good fren. Sumone whu is nice to me n all. Perhaps, I am just too soft-hearted. Or perhaps, I just lyke the attention I am getting, esp when I m feeling so unloved right now. I'm an awful attention-seeker. That's a horrible fact. =(
Sumtimes, I really wonder what the future has in place fer me. I'll nv noe until it cums. haha. My future is bleak, as flor puts it. haha. I duno whether I am goin to do well fer a lvls. I duno whether I am goin to stay alive. I duno how long he's going to love me. I duno.. N I am scared. hais. I'm emotionally drained. =( |
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| I need hugs. Badly. |
[Mar. 23rd, 2006|10:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | just feeling sad=( | ] |
Hmms. A gd old fren just emailed me this. Found that its rather true of what girls dream/want. Here goes,
1. Get kissed in the rain
2. Have that one hott kiss where your pressed against the wall
3. Have a guy that thinks you're the world
4. Have a guy that holds on as long as possible when giving hugs
5. A guy that whispers he loves you in your ear
6. Have that moment where you just gaze into eachother's eyes
7. When you cry, he kisses your tears away.
8. When you're not with your guy he's all that you can think about
9. Wearing his jacket and everytime you breath in, his scent surrounds you
10. A guy who will watch any movie with you, no matter how teary eyed you may get.
11. A guy who squeezes your hand
12. A guy that says he loves you and means it
13. A guy that will play her favorite song outside her window
14. A guy who is loyal
15. A guy that will sing to you no matter how bad he is at it.
16. A guy that will kiss you on the forehead.
17. A guy that will call you beautiful or adorable...not hot, fine, or sexy
18. A guy that will never judge you for how you look.
19. A guy that says cheezy stuff to you just to make u smile
20. A guy that is the same when he is with you and when with friends
21. A guy that tells you everything honestly
22. A guy that is good with your family and introduces you to his family
23. A guy that will always let you win
24. A guy who stands up for you no matter who it is against
25. A guy who calls you at night just to say 'hi' and see how your day has been
26. A guy who tells you that your smile makes his day and makes everything better
27. A guy who will sit on the phone with you when you're sad, even if you're quiet
28. A guy who you can hangout and have fun with
29. A guy that will just randonmly call you for no reason at all, just because he missed you
30. A guy who will hold your hand through the roughest parts of life.
31. A guy who would love you forever no matter the circumstance.
32. A guy who wouldn't mind you wanting to get all dressed up and do your make up for him. Even if he says he likes you better without make up.
33. A guy who you can be yourself with and he will never give a care and would still tell you that you are amazing to him.
34. A guy who runs his fingers through your hair, like he's washing your worries/troubles away.
35. A guy who tells you you make his day better, just for being you
Hmms. True rites? Any girl wil be willing to die fer a guy lyke that. haha. You'll never know who'll cum along. Perhaps, sumday soon, you'll meet sumone lidat too. =) Just be patient and wait.
Oh wells. Am having my last paper tml. WEE! haha. alrights this time, I am not so crazy abt celebrating lers lahs. Duno why. I am just not in the mood. Maybe, it's cuz I m not having aneone ther to celebrate wif bahs. Even my gd fren, von, mite be celebrating wif sumone else, I guess. Oh wells. I'll be hapi to see others hapi=) hmms. Just now, I came across this quote, " Many a time, people don't treasure the people/things that come easily available. Its only when they come close to losing it or haf lost it, then would they know the importance of it all. " Quite true, isn't it? I haf been ther as in, being the ppl whu din treasure others as well as being taken granted. *shrugs* Either way, its bad experience. Do cherish the ppl ard you before they are gone fer good.
Hmms. Getting abit melancholy here. haha. think i beta stop thinking so negatively. Shall go sleep lers. =) Oh yarhs. Nearly forgot.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIAJING!! *hugs*
` nessa : dun get too stressed up, gal. You know you'll always haf me here. Hugs frm me are complimentary. Free of GST. haha. Smiles!! =)
` at times when my world seems so dark, I just wish sumone wld cum along to giv me a hug to make me feel better. Hugs do make a difference. |
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| Can't get to sleep . . . |
[Mar. 22nd, 2006|10:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  okay | ] |
Hmms. Din study much today. Merely slacked at home. Got the urge to go out wif frens. Hmms. Can't get to slp now. Haha. Think I haf gotten used to sleeping late lers. Which is quite a gd thing. Preparation fer night jaunt. haha. Wells. I am nocturnal mahs. haha. But if I am really tired, that would be another story. Blehs.
Hmms. Just now, had a little glance at the telly when the news is on. Saw one sumwhat ridiculous news. Sum sec sch is distributing flyers to its neighbourhood to get the public's help in catching those problematic kids. Guess what's considered as problematic? haha. Smoking and drinking, I am okay with that listing. Even couples holding hands is listed! Whats the world cuming to mans? Haha. Ridiculous. Alrights. Shan't talk too much here. Lest, I get sued or sumthing. haha. *shrugs*
Hmms. though my common tests arent over yet. Me alrdy started planning fer June hols lers. Hmms. Mite haf chalets. Provided if I haf the cash. Haha. Gona be rather broke because of the May babies. haha. Hmms. Me n my hellmate haf decided to go clubbing at Ministry of Sound during June after geog trip. Wee! heex. I will be of age by then. wahaha. =D *evil luff*
Gona sign off here. Must mug.
` Love is lyke swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled down. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a very long time =) |
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